create your own visited country map The Stoop: The "Sport of Kings"

Monday, July 17, 2006

The "Sport of Kings"


A couple of weeks ago, I was hanging out down by Hamilton Park when I noticed some folks had appropriated the (admittedly) seedy tennis courts for an altogether different purpose- Cricket. It's usually played by Indian or Caribbean gentlemen, and is yet another example (see Rugby and Soccer) of a sport invented by the English, but played much better by just about everybody else.

So I did a bit of digging about the rules of cricket, in an attempt to make sense of what these guys were up to. After reviewing the field positions of a typical cricket team, I must ask- would you rather be an "outfield nancy" or a "deep fine cock?"

Such philosophical questions aside, I really would like someone English (or preferably Indian, as it's always better to get answers from an expert) to tell me if this chart is really accurate, or simply a strange plot to confuse the American side of the Anglo-American alliance. Additionally, I find the idea of someone earnestly explaining that "by Jove, the bowler threw sent it right down the crease to the queer off, but wouldn't you know it the silly mid off got in the way, sending it to the dogger instead!" to be an immensely humerous prospect- particularly if said in a Gujarati accent. Cricket was invented in english Public shools, and I defy anyone to take a look at it, read Tom Brown's school days, and then tell me with a stright face that Public schools are about anything other than institutionalized rogering and torturing of young boys. What kind of monstrous evil could invent a game as boring as baseball, but make the matches 5 days long!

I have had the opportunity to see cricket twice; once as a small boy when my family took me on a trip around the UK (daddy, what are those twenty seven men doing in that field, all wearing the same outfits?), and again when I found myself, through misadventure, upon the island of Antigua. Both times I managed to escape unscathed.

Antiguans are mad about cricket. As mad about it as the subcontinentals. When you think about it, it sort of makes sense that the Indians and Pakistanis would adopt cricket. Often the most cultivated of Indians tended to out-English even the English in their enthusiastic assumption of English high culture (well, apart from the buggery aspects of english culture). Think of Dr. Verswami in Orwell's Burmese Days. Though most Indians would today deny it, English culture has struck deep roots in certain levels of Indian society. Look how the English introduced Tea to India. I hear that its quite popular there these days.

This is not so much true in the carribean- they drink beer, rather than tea. And certiainly no Jamaican would be caught dead stick their pinkie out while drinking. Certainly, the carribeans have enthusiastically adopted the English language. A bit too enthusiastically, a few Oxford Dons mght say, but as they are convinced that anything other than the strictest BBC accent is howling barbarism (in the case of Glasgow, they are unfortunately correct) they are best ignored. It might be said that the carribeans took the best of English culture, that is to say, parliementarianism, general courtesy, and the language, and tossed out the bad bits, such as Morris dancing and English Hygenic practices. The one English vice they seemed to have maintained is cricket.

The day I was there the West Indian team was playing England, and trouncing them thoroughly. A number of wild pronouncements were made, involving words like "century" and "googly." Each individual word was, in fact, an English word, but when they were strung together they appeared to be nonsense. So I got back on the boat away from that lovely isle, no wiser in the ways of sport, but with a nice T-shirt.

2 Comments:

Blogger Fascinacion said...

Is that a picture of you at the by the Blue Mask? Or Topkapi Palace?

2:44 AM  
Blogger Justiceiro said...

Fascination, that's a picture of me by the blue mosque. If you want to see some other of my photos, check out www.justciero.smugmug.com

11:14 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Alan Johnston banner